


Cupcake Chaos

by PatPrecieux



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Easter Baking, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 20:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14120430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatPrecieux/pseuds/PatPrecieux
Summary: Sherlock bakes cupcakes for New Scotland Yard.





	Cupcake Chaos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AlwaysJohn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysJohn/gifts), [notjustmom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/gifts).



> John wants Sherlock to return kindness for thoughtlessness. Sherlock obliges him.
> 
> For AlwaysJohn who showed me that old works never wither away when there are new followers to discover them, and notjustmom who brings Our Boys and 221B to life for me every single day. Just know dears, Some Bunny loves you.

Of all the smells that John Watson had come to expect wafting down from their flat when he would come home, the most pleasant and surprising was the fragrance of Sherlock baking. He rarely used the oven for the prescribed purpose, but when he did, it was heaven.

Today, if John's noble nose, as Sherlock called it, didn't deceive him, it was cake or something similar. As he climbed the steps, his growling stomach and saliva glands banished all trepidation he might hold over the state of the kitchen and the Pastry Chef.

The warmth of the flat took the chill from his bones, and his eyes crinkled with mirth at the sight of his lover covered in a thin coating of flour, grinning from ear to ear.

"Ah, John, perfect timing. You're just in time to taste my latest endeavor. Come along, don't dawdle."

"Hello and how was your day, to you too, Gordon Ramsey. Let me at least get out of my coat and wash my hands", he teased coming into the kitchen and kissing the one spot on Sherlock's cheek that was still clean.

Sherlock huffed, but continued to smile and cleared a spot for John to sit and sample his wares. "It's a new cupcake recipe, you'll be the first to try one."

John couldn't stifle the snort as he intoned, "Should I be worried, call for ambulance, alert hospital?"

"That's below you John. You know it's been years, ah months, perhaps weeks... well, a bit since I last poisoned you."

"For an experiment you mean. This isn't an experiment is it?"

Once, Sherlock would have responded with an indignant hurt, but now he had come to recognize when his blogger was taking the piss without malice. "It wasn't, but I do have some mold samples I could add for more decoration."

"Ta, but think I'll take my chances with what's already finished."

As he scanned the counters, he realized Sherlock had baked a good four dozen cupcakes. "Sherlock, there's so many, are we having a bake sale?"

"Droll as always, my little honey bunny, but no. They're an effort to convince you that I DO, on occasion, take your well meaning advice to heart", he purred setting down a fresh cup of tea by the Doctor's elbow."

"Wow, you listening to me AND cupcakes- it's Christmas."

"Nooooo, Easter. You might deduce a clue from the garnish."

The cupcakes were indeed made festive with an ivory frosting liberally dusted with green sprinkles to look like grass and topped with tiny candies in the shapes of eggs and rabbits. 

"These are almost too pretty to eat, Sherlock."

"Force yourself. Besides, only the one dozen is for us. Should be enough what with Hudders being off to her sisters for the week. If you enjoy them though, I might make some more for her when she comes back. After all, you have impressed upon me how happy you would be if I try to be more kind to- other people", this last said with distain.

"So, the rest of these are for...."

"Giovanni's division at the Yard. I'm having them picked up and delivered by one of Mycroft's minions. Since he's taken up playing house with the good Inspector, my dear brother can at least be made useful."

"The Yard? Well love, I AM impressed. With the way most of them have been giving you shit of late, you are being generous."

"That is what you meant by kindness isn't it, John? Return good will for ill?"

"Spot on, you brilliant man. Now, give me one of those beautiful creations and I'll happily be your test subject, I'm starving."

As Sherlock watched anxiously, John took a huge bite of cupcake, "Manners John."

Smirking around a buttercream mustache, John rolled his eyes in bliss, "My cupcake, my mouthful, git."

"Diagnosis, Captain?"

"These are delicious. What's the colorful pieces in the batter, I can't place them?"

"Ground jelly beans, all but the black ones. Don't want anyone accusing me of cooking with bugs."

"Or the aforementioned mold, yeah? Seriously, never had a better cupcake, my little cream puff."

Whatever snarky retort the detective might have managed was rendered moot by his furious blush, and John sharing the last bite of his cupcake by way of a searing kiss.

The heat of the kitchen then followed them to the bedroom where they made good use of the remaining extra frosting.

 

***~~~***

 

The morning saw the baked goods picked up by a somber member of MI6 who seemed thoroughly humiliated by the nature of his latest assignment.

"Your brother must really have an issue with that one to make him a delivery boy, he looks more like a criminal."

"Black ops actually, and Mycroft can indeed be inventive when it comes to retribution."

"That's why I try to stay on his good side. You know he's always liked me best."

"Not exactly news, Hamish."

"Oy!! You start the day like that and I'll have to take the measure of you, young man."

Wiggling his eyebrows frantically, Sherlock whispered, "May I suggest something of mine you might measure, if you're up to it."

"You cheeky devil, I'll show you..."

The door to the flat flew open crashing into the wall behind it, and the dynamic duo of Greg and Mycroft stomped into view.

"What the bloody hell, mates. You could, you know, knock, on our door if you've come to visit."

Greg was nearly blue in the face, "Not a visit, John. Official police business."

"A case?"

Mycroft nodded gravely, "No John. I fear my dear brother has rather put his foot in it as it were."

"Sherlock, what's going on?"

"I couldn't say, John."

"More a case of won't than can't", Greg growled.

"Fine! Then instead of throwing out insults what say you just tell me what the fuck you two are on about?!"

"It appears my sibling has laid low Gregory's entire squad with those cupcakes. Quite pathetic actually, I should think the Yard's finest would have stronger stomachs."

"Mycroft, you want to sleep in the guest room tonight?"

"Apologies, Gregory. Feel free to carry on."

"I don't know how he sabotaged those cupcakes John, but he had the whole lot of my people scrambling for the loo and gagging."

"I have eaten one of those myself, and it was scrumptious, so I'm not going to let you just rail at Sherlock without..."

The sonorous baritone came from behind him sounding somewhat timid yet satisfied. "John, while I appreciate your loyalty, I must confess to being guilty as charged."

"What? But how? I mean the one you gave me..."

"The dozen I kept for us are the original recipe, not my own invention."

"Sherlock, are we talking toxic here? Do we need to contact NHS or emergency services?"

"Nothing so drastic, John. I'm sure Grumpy and Dopey will attest that the cupcakes were unpleasant but not debilitating."

"True, brother mine, but distressing none the less."

"Distressing, Myc, my whole office is walking around with sickly green faces. Looks more like Halloween than Easter. What did you do you menace?", he hissed advancing on Sherlock.

John stepped between them making it clear he wouldn't allow his boyfriend to come to any real harm. "Pet, I think it's best if you explain. NOW!!"

Having the decency to look somewhat abashed, Sherlock explained how he had made a creative substitution in the recipe meant for the Yarders. "I used Bertie Botts rather than Jelly Belly's. Simple and effective."

John looked blank, "Bertie Botts? Not familiar."

Mycroft sighed, "I can't say I'm surprised, John. I understand they're quite vile."

"VILE", Greg roared, homicidal's more like it."

"Hardly, Lestrade. They are readily available for purchase at the shops. I can't be arsed to care if the flavors don't suit some."

The conductor of light suddenly felt the "light" dawn over his head. "What flavors are we talking about here, Sherlock?"

"The usual Bertie Botts, John. Booger, Dirt, Earthworm, Earwax, Grass, Rotten Egg, Soap and Vom...", the last muffled.

"Soap and what?"

"Um, Vomit."

John couldn't help himself, he began to giggle uncontrollably.

Greg bristled, "Not funny in the least Doctor Watson."

"Sorry, sorry, but it's just..just..", he dissolved again.

Despite the air of frivolity, Mycroft remained stern. "Perhaps not worthy of incarceration or an ASBO, John, but deserving of punishment nonetheless."

"I've half a mind to fetch the leftovers back from my office and make you eat them, you brat, but I will admit that you've suffered more than your share of abuse from MY minions. Still doesn't excuse your behavior."

"Sorry, love. I have to agree. What if Greg or Mycroft had eaten one?"

"I knew that wouldn't happen. Gigolo had convinced Mycroft they should give up a vice for Easter and they settled on baked goods and cigarettes and swore off both till next Sunday."

"So you knew Myc and I wouldn't get a nasty surprise? Well, that makes it better but still... Sorry, John but I reckon I'm too riled up to be fair, so maybe let's let Myc decide what to do."

Sherlock looked both scandalized and intimidated, "I hardly think..."

John put a comforting arm around his waist, "Pretty sure you don't get a say in this love. Go on then Mycroft, but I won't tolerate anything too severe."

Twirling his umbrella in slow circles, he finally passed sentence. "Sherlock, this is beyond the pale, but I will make allowances for the difficulties you encounter with Donovan, Anderson and their ilk. Therefore, I recommended you provide both Gregory and I with two cupcakes, each, AND the recipe. Oh and a pot of fresh tea. Off you go, brother dear, before I change my mind."

 

***~~~***

 

"Cupcake crumbs in bed isn't all that romantic you know John."

"Well aware, but I thought we should finish off the last two before your brother comes back tomorrow for seconds. Besides after that last shag I seriously needed some sustenance for my transport."

"I suppose I should be grateful for Mycroft's 'mercy', as I was somewhat mean to SOME people."

"Umm.. people who deserved it in my opinion."

"You realize your opinion is the only one that matters to me, Sir."

"Good to hear at any rate, beautiful. Just one more thing before I have your buns for a midnight snack, and I want your promise William Sherlock Scott Holmes."

"Anything for you my fluffy Easter duckling."

After he got his breath back John good naturedly ordered, "No more Cupcake Chaos."

Then they did what bunnies do best, all night long!

**Author's Note:**

> For those who wish to indulge, WITHOUT chaos, here's the recipe.
> 
> Jelly Belly Jelly Bean Cupcakes- Yields 12 cupcakes. Total prep time 45 minutes
> 
> INGREDIENTS:
> 
> Cupcakes 
> 
> 1& 1/2 cups flour
> 
> 1 tsp baking powder
> 
> 1/2 tsp baking soda
> 
> 1/4 tsp salt
> 
> 3/4 cup sugar
> 
> 2 eggs
> 
> 1 stick butter, melted
> 
> 1& 1/2 tsp vanilla
> 
> 1/2 cup sour cream
> 
> 1& 1/2 tbsp Jelly Belly jelly beans, crushed in a blender or food processor (but NOT pulsed into jelly bean dust)
> 
>  
> 
> Buttercream Frosting/Icing
> 
> 1 stick butter, room temperature 
> 
> 1/2 cup vegetable shortening 
> 
> 2- 2.5 cups powdered sugar
> 
> 1/2 tsp vanilla
> 
> Dash of milk if mixture becomes too thick
> 
>  
> 
> DIRECTIONS: 
> 
> Cupcakes
> 
> 1\. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
> 
> 2\. In a small bowl combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar. Whisk and set aside.
> 
> 3\. In a mixing bowl whisk eggs, melted butter, vanilla and sour cream until well combined.
> 
> 4\. Slowly add half of the flour mixture to the liquid, stirring to combine. Repeat with remainder of flour mixture.
> 
> 5\. Add crushed Jelly Belly's and mix once more.
> 
> 6\. Divide the batter in a muffin pan lined with muffin liners, filling each cup to a little more than half full.
> 
> 7\. Bake for 14-16 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.
> 
> Buttercream
> 
> 1\. In a mixing bowl, combine room temperature butter and shortening. Beat using an electric mixer for two minutes, until light and fluffy.
> 
> 2\. Begin to gradually add in the powdered sugar, slowly beating the mixture until the powered sugar is well incorporated. Add powered sugar to desired consistency, taking care that the mixture is not too wet. If too stiff, thin with dash of milk.
> 
> 3\. Add in vanilla and beat until just combined.
> 
> 4\. Frost with an off set spatula to desired thickness, or using a piping bag for fancier effect.
> 
> 5\. Garnish with Easter theme sprinkles, or whole Jelly Belly's.
> 
>  
> 
> Apologies to my friends in metric countries, but I am pants at converting from our system. Think y'all are smarter than me. ;)
> 
> Happy Easter to all who celebrate. To everyone else, just have a wonderful day!


End file.
